“I KNOW THAT YOU BELIEVE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU THINK I SAID, BUT I’M NOT SURE YOU REALIZE THAT WHAT YOU HEARD IS NOT WHAT I MEANT.” (Robert McCloskey during a Press Briefing about the Vietnam War)
We are in conversations every day and research show that 9 out of 10 conversations miss the mark.
What is Conversational Intelligence and how is it different from other methods?
“Conversational Intelligence® (C-IQ), a new and innovative framework, is the hardwired, and learnable ability, to connect, navigate and grow with others – a necessity in building healthier and more resilient organizations in the face of change. C-IQ begins with TRUST, and ends with a high quality relationship and business success.”
In school we learn grammar and punctuation, where do we learn to really have difficult conversations? Some people may have it naturally or gain it over the years, but they don’t really get taught that anywhere along the way. And this is what it really does for you – it teaches you how to have these conversations, to stop avoiding them, to connect with people, build the relationships that result in TRUST. When we trust each other, we can learn together even through change and difficult tasks.
When applying C-IQ, we see higher levels of trust, of partnering and of co-creating behaviors. Our world is moving from an I-centric world to a WE-centric world.
Sometimes people may say, “I don’t have time to spend in deep conversations – they take too long.” By mastering Conversational Intelligence, what normally could take months or even years, can happen instantaneously.
C-IQ vs EQ
You may have heard of EQ, Emotional Intelligence, which is learning and growing the Self . Well Conversational Intelligence (C-IQ), with frameworks, rituals, and tools that elevate our levels of TRUST, is the next generation of intelligences that enables us to connect, navigate and grow with others. EQ is about self-regulation (I-centric). C-IQ is about Co-regulation (WE-centric).
Conversational Intelligence is based on Neuroscience Research and specifically the Neuroscience of Conversations.
Conversational Intelligence® (C-IQ) gives us insight into how our brain responds during conversations and how conversations activate our trust and distrust networks in our brain. How to understand and architect conversations that create healthy thriving relationships (teams and organizations but also in our personal life). Conversations either open us up or close us down. Once you learn what patterns drive connectivity and trust, and what drive fear and distrust, you are able to connect, engage, navigate and co-create with others in healthy ways. Conversational Intelligence elevates Oxytocin, the chemistry of Connection, and lowers Cortisol, the chemistry of fear and distrust.
As an organization or even for yourself personally you may have hired a transformational or leadership coach. What makes C-IQ so unique and why C-IQ coaches stand out from others is their deep awareness of Interaction Dynamics (tell and ask; Advocate & Inquire, Share and Discover) and how to use these dynamics to connect, navigate and grow with others in healthy ways. Because C-IQ coaches are intimately more aware of how to build trust with clients and teams, they are able to uncover challenges and blind-spots that were invisible before.
When implementing Conversational Intelligence in a large Pharmaceutical Company – the Company’s ratings in the eyes of physicians went from being rated #39 out of #40 (which is low) to being rated #1, #2, #3 in the eyes of Physicians – all within 8 months
What do I offer?
I spent about 12 years in the space industry and then truck industry, mainly as a Project Manager, and I can definitely see many situations where we would have benefited from:
- Bringing awareness of our patterns and our impact which is often different from our intentions (So many times people think: that’s not what I meant or that was not my intention. We judge ourselves by our intentions; others judge us by our actions)
- Learning how the brain works to understand our and others’ reactions and therefore releasing the pressure by moving from a place of judgment and blame or fear and low self-esteem to a more neutral and safer place to observe and take better actions
- Bringing a common language within teams to facilitate sharing and understanding without judging. Wouldn’t it be more fun when someone starts to get on your nerves, instead of shutting down or escalating, to just say: “I am having an amygdala highjack (triggers the fight or flight mode from our primitive brain), let’s try to down-regulate this before moving on. I know this might sound awkward at first but once you’ve past that uncomfortable place, it will change your interaction dynamics and relationships
As a C-IQ Enhanced Skills Practicioner, I am an adept at taking all the C-IQ tools and frameworks and using them in highly creative and unique ways (not a follow the numbers system) to serve your or your organization’s needs as they unfold.
You will learn how to create healthy organizations (interactions, teams etc) through conversational rituals and uncover the wonderful worlds that emerge through the words that we share, the feelings we express, and the partnerships that evolve! With the end result of a higher TRUST, an improved efficiency and an increased success.
- individual coaching (for managers and executives)
- Group/team coaching
Contact me to schedule a powerful conversation during which I will go more into details and show you some examples of the tools I use.