Photo by Sammie Vasquez on Unsplash
In one of my recent coaching sessions with a client, the fact that he was lacking confidence showed up. My initial reflex was to think “how can we build up his confidence?”, but I knew this would not make a real difference, this was not impactful coaching.
And then I remembered a phrase I read last week. I had probably heard that quote or a similar one in the past, but either I had overlooked it (meaning I had understood it intellectually/conceptually but it hadn’t clicked deeply and I had moved on without doing anything about it), either I had had an insight but then it had gone back into my own blind spots again (the second tricky part of blind spots is that after they became visible, they can actually become invisible again…). Last week, for some reason, it clicked.
You don’t need a lot of confidence; you need a little act of courage.
In any situation where you feel you lack confidence, you can work on building your confidence, with some positive affirmations or by listing all your past successes and that might be helpful, but will probably be limited (by the way for this to be the most efficient, you need to really FEEL (not think) that confidence deep inside).
Or you can shift your entire perspective of the situation and realize that you actually don’t need more confidence to take action. Instead, you can just act, and this will require some courage. It will feel scary and uncomfortable in the moment, which is why aiming at a little act of courage can help. This will be way more effective than to try to convince yourself that you are ready and confident enough (because chances are that you will never be), and, as a result, guess what, this will build your confidence.
It’s usually quicker and more efficient to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting, but for overthinking/overpreparing people like me, it’s not natural and more challenging. That’s why I get some support from my own coach and why I’m also good at helping people like me do the same.
Now you might read this without deeply clicking and that’s OK. Maybe one day, you will, maybe not. The bigger picture here is that it is possible to shift how we see the world and this allows us to move more effectively toward our dreams, one small act of courage at a time. In a sense, that’s what coaching is about.
I’ll leave you with the following questions:
- Where is a lack of confidence holding you back at the moment? What if you didn’t need more confidence but instead a little act of courage? What would that act of courage be?
- And to open up to more possibilities, where else do you get stuck? How could you reframe the situation to move on?
If, maybe counter-intuitively, you think that now is the time to invest in yourself to get unstuck or move more efficiently toward creating the life, business or career you really want, reach out. I have a couple of 1 on 1 spots available. Maybe that’s the little act of courage that would make a difference for you.
Take care,
Evan Bernache 