I have worked in various corporate organizations and observed that what we call the soft skills are actually the harder to get and the ones with the most significant impact on the organization’s success. This is one of the reasons I transitioned to coaching. And this is why I was trained at Conversational Intelligence which I would like to introduce today.
“To get to the next level of greatness depends on the quality of the culture, which depends on the quality of relationships, which depends on the quality of conversations…” (Judith E. Glaser).
Developed by Organizational Anthropologist and Executive coach Judith E. Glaser, by whom I had the pleasure and honor to be trained, Conversational Intelligence® (C-IQ), a new and innovative framework, is the hardwired, and learnable ability to connect, navigate and grow with others – a necessity in building healthier and more resilient organizations in the face of change.
Whereas EQ is mainly about self-regulation (I-centric), C-IQ is about Co-regulation (WE-centric). C-IQ begins with TRUST, and ends with high quality relationships and business success.
In school we learn grammar and punctuation, but where do we learn to really have difficult conversations? Some people may have it naturally or gain it over the years, but they don’t really get taught that anywhere along the way. And this is what C-IQ really does for you – it teaches you how to have these conversations, to stop avoiding them, to connect with people, build the relationships that result in TRUST. When we trust each other, we can learn together even through change and difficult tasks.
Conversational Intelligence is about COMMUNICATION
Research show that 9 out of 10 conversations miss the mark.
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
– Robert McCloskey during a Press Briefing about the Vietnam War
Conversational Intelligence is about TRUST
Google learned From its Quest to Build the Perfect Team (NY Article HERE) that the best teams had:
– conversational turn-taking = equal time of talking by team members
– average social sensitivity = empathy, sensitivity towards colleagues
This is the concept of psychological safety which is to allow space to speak up and take risks.
Conversational Intelligence is about NeuroSciences
It gives us insight into how our brain responds during conversations and how conversations activate our trust and distrust networks in our brain. Conversational Intelligence elevates Oxytocin, the chemistry of Connection, and lowers Cortisol, the chemistry of fear and distrust.
What is great with this is that it is not limited to the workplace, it can be applied in the education system, in personal relationships or in sport teams.
Take some time to think about the level of trust in your team or organization. How high or how low is it? How is the quality of the conversations? Of the relationships? How is it impacting the team or organization’s efficiency?